Matapalo Mayhem


Last Testament

Andy Pruter

Andy is the owner operator of the tour outfitter Everyday Adventures.  You may reach him at


I feel like I’m still living in my childhood. My home isn’t much more than a glorified fort. My job is spent hiking around climbing trees and rappelling over waterfalls. And I still wear the same board shorts I had when I moved here a quarter century ago.

But when I look at Talon and Cayenne and see how they have grown, the chronological slide rule suddenly lengthens. Talon charges Matapalo solo these days and can whip me on the ping pong table if I slip up even a little. Cayenne regularly takes down boys in her jujitsu class bigger than her and has become quite an artist of all things involving mayhem.

So, knowing I’m playing the back nine on the golf course of life, I wrote a short poem paying tribute to the privilege of walking this great planet.



When I die, and I hope it’s not soon
I think you’ll still see my face in the moon.
And knowing I’ve thrown many BA’s in my day
hope again you know it’s not intended THAT way.
But herein lies the wish I am after…
that I’m remembered the most among gut wrenching laughter.
For that was my purpose, I feel, when alive.
Was to bring out the smiles, and tears of joy to your eyes.
Sometimes humor is biting, and I tried not to fake it.
So although I could give it, I also learned how to take it.

When I die I want to be put in a hole
and directly above me shall sprout a tree bole.
My intention of feeding the roots of a tree
is simply to continue living life by the sea.
And seeing the way my kids drove my ass loco
realize the tree I want to be is the, coco.
When young, both tree and child live together,
putting on years through all types of weather.
Talon and Cay both munching palmitos,
snacking on phloem and xylem like cheetos.
And how many hours did I spend at the man bench
cracking open the cocos and pipas till sweat drenched?

This life has been bitchin although at times a bit trying,
but never too hard that my days were spent crying.
Not that I didn’t have my fair share of tears.
But the thing I’m most proud is my blind eye to fears.
For one does not approach life always entirely ready.
It often takes getting Muddy, Bloody, Bruised and Sweaty.
Any lesson I’ve passed to my kids at the least is that
“Every day is a Holiday and Every Meal is a Feast.”

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